According to very reliable sources, Presidents Donald J. Trump and Giovanni Infantino are about to announce the result of the 2026 FIFA World Cup final, which will be held on July 19.
“The GREATEST team in soccer history has AGAIN beaten every shithole country in the world.”, Trump will shortly post on Truth Social. “We are proud to invite all - AMERICAN - players of TEAM USA to the White House for a VERY SPECIAL, some say even the MOST SPECIAL, celebration ever held.”
Mauricio Pochettino will also attend the festivities, given that the State Department has been instructed to issue an exclusive certificate of US Citizenship to the Argentinian coach of Team USA.
Gianni Infantino is to announce later this week that all future FIFA World Cups will take place on the South Lawn of the White House in Washington D.C., stating that “it is the right of the winning country to hold the following event on it’s own soil.”