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Now that the rapture's over, I wonder how all of the Christians feel knowing that they didn't make the cut.

teilten dies erneut

Als Antwort auf Alice McFlurry

I have thought of the idea for a story set in a universe where the rapture is true and has happened, it's just that the exact correct holy texts and interpretations of them has been lost to time, such that nobody actually believes the correct things, and thus no one was raptured.
Als Antwort auf Alice McFlurry

They'll just make something up to explain it...kinda like religion always has! What is an earthquake?...I don't know. Must be god
Als Antwort auf Alice McFlurry

Most Christians on this planet don't even believe in the Rapture, it's mainly a thing among Evangelical sects, most of which are only big in America because they were oppressed here in Europe where everyone could see how dangerous they were right from the start. It's a shame they allowed so many of them to flee across the ocean.
Als Antwort auf Alice McFlurry

darn, sorry I'm late, did I miss it, when is the next one. I'll make sure I don't double book this time
Als Antwort auf Alice McFlurry

Yes, they are all stuck here with the rest of us great unwashed to suffer through the tribulations where half or 3/4 of us are supposed to perish and they get maybe just maybe will run up against the idea that this is the outcome they wished upon most of the human race, because they thought they were gonna get out of jail for free card.

masto.ai/@GhostOnTheHalfShell/…

Als Antwort auf Alice McFlurry

@Alice, where did all this rapture stuff that's been on my timeline start? What's it all about? I'm genuinely puzzled...
Als Antwort auf Alice McFlurry

Lemme just arrogantly stroll into this conversation by saying, "None of them had read their f'ing bibles and you know this because it _literally_ says, 'No man shall know the day or the hour,' and to avoid confusion it mean _man_ in the context of mankind. It's not gender exclusive."

These...

MF'ers...

Won't...

Even...

Read...

Their...

Own...

Book.

Thanks for coming to my TEDtalk.

Als Antwort auf Alice McFlurry

12 guys in a sub-Saharan nomad tribe are missing and presumed naked. Their wives, 'left behind', are very concerned.

This will be a funnier joke #AfterTrumpIsDead

Als Antwort auf Alice McFlurry

youtu.be/j2F4INQFjEI Just gotta pick a place!
Als Antwort auf Alice McFlurry

God left them as guides for the rest of us. He's very loving that way.
Als Antwort auf Alice McFlurry

Just fine, the Rapture™ is a bunch of made-up bullshit that became popular with the same crowd that falls for the Prosperity Gospel.

In my best peckerwood southern Baptist preacher voice: "For The LORD said, you Shall know the righteous among you by the number of garages manafest upon their abode."

Als Antwort auf Alice McFlurry

the temptation to leave an empty set of clothes outside your door while the Christians who didn't make the cut wonder what foul depravity kept them out of heaven.
Als Antwort auf Alice McFlurry

Interesting. This is actually the first time that I read the word. Seems not to be so relevant at least for some of 'all the christians' ;)
Als Antwort auf Alice McFlurry

I don't believe the Rapture nonsense, but let's be honest, if .0018% of the people vanished, would we even notice?
Als Antwort auf Alice McFlurry

Maybe it was like The Good Place: no one was good enough to make the cut.
Als Antwort auf Alice McFlurry

Now Sean Duffy will have to find another reason for planes crashing.
Als Antwort auf Alice McFlurry

I like the idea that there was a small Zoroastrian cult in the mountains with about seven members who turned out to be right and got quietly raptured without anyone noticing.
Als Antwort auf Alice McFlurry

It happened, but just for one sin-free ant.

via @futurebird

sauropods.win/@futurebird/1152…


Today I saw an ant (one single ant) floating up into heaven on a column of light. She was crying the whole time because the rest of her colony and all her other bug friends were too sinful to get into heaven.

I don't think ANY humans got in. Pica the cat has activated her legal team but I don't see what that's going to do.

Anyway best make what we can of what is left and God Bless that one ant who was free of sin.


Als Antwort auf Alice McFlurry

Probably freaking out that they're stuck here to reap the consequences of their actions.

Though it could have also been a ploy to renew interest in the "Left Behind" series, now that I think about it. Ugh. The zombie apocalypses are much more relatable.

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Als Antwort auf Alice McFlurry

Wonderful. Yesterday I had to go to the PD to get fingerprinted for a new job. Go into a Family Dollar, and have to piss, because I always have to piss, ask the woman where the restrooms are "they're not allowed" well, I'm planning on spending money "Doesn't matter". Well, I'm not spending money now "Still can't use our restrooms" Well...we know why you weren't raptured, now don't we *highly offended look* I'm in the bible belt buckle of texas. It was great.
Als Antwort auf Alice McFlurry

I kind of wish the rapture was a real thing just to see the look on their faces when it dawns on them that they were being performative all along.